Cheap's good, but free's better! SUPER ZERO is free!

Rippling capes. Sexy masks. Moves like Jagger. When I think of Superheroes, I think of all those things. Well, and spandex too, of course, but we won't go there. *shudder*

Anywho, I'm excited to let you guys know that my adult superhero romantic comedy, SUPER ZERO, is now freeeeeee to everyone for a limited time (and will remain free for Amazon Prime members until July 25, 2012, woohoo). You have until Friday night, May 4 2012 to download your own copy of SUPER ZERO on your Kindle (or, download the free Kindle app for your computer, iPad, phone, etc. HERE).

Here's the cover copy:

Working for superheroes isn't all it's cracked up to be... 

When Jenna's superhero boss The Machine gives her the opportunity to safeguard the changing crystal (a jewel that grants, changes or removes superpowers), she jumps at the chance, eager to do this so-called "cake" job and earn street fred with the Midwest League of Superheroes. To help her mission, the League assigns her a partner, the mysterious and super-sexy Vigilante. Too bad he's also super-grouchy--what a tragic waste of hotness. 

Soon, Jenna learns the threat to the changing crystal is all too real, and her list of trustworthy people grows shorter by the minute. But when she discovers something even more sinister afoot, involving Vigilante's sexy arch nemesis Dementrix, it'll take all her skills to keep the mad villainess from executing her plan to unmask and decommission the world's superheroes...especially when Jenna accidentally becomes one herself.

So, hop on the cool train and give my book a try--all the kids are doing it! And please, share this news about SUPER ZERO being free on Amazon through May 4, 2012!

Thanks, and happy reading!

Oh! And if you get a chance, check out the hilarious SUPER ZERO "cattification" by Jody Wallace, on her meankitty blog HERE.

Plotting Workshop Coming in June!

Hello, all! So, I'm once again offering my workshop PLOT: It's Not Just a Four-Letter Word for the month of June. Here are the details!

Plotting--amazing how this one word can strike fear or even hatred in the hearts of writers. Writing is supposed to be creative, right?

Well, the problem is that many writers have no idea how to go about making a novel happen. How do you know your idea is big enough for a full novel? How do you make sure you won't be stuck with a saggy middle? What's a good way to weave subplots appropriately in a story and give them a meaningful connection with the main plot?

I'm offering my month-long online workshop designed to teach you how to craft a full plot for a novel, including character depth/development, plot twists, the dark moment/climax, and a satisfactory ending. We'll use Debra Dixon's principles in her book Goal, Motivation, and Conflict as a reference for the workshop (it's recommended, though not required, that you purchase this book before the workshop in case you need further study on the topic--find it HERE), as well as various unique tips and tricks I employ in my own writing.

This intense, hands-on workshop will run from June 5th-28th. Since it's online, there's no set time you have to be there or complete assignments--you can move at your own pace. Here's the syllabus (lessons posted twice a week on Tuesdays/Thursdays, with homework accompanying each lesson):

Week 1: Intro to Rhonda's nerdalicious plotting methodology; creating your own plan of action
Week 2: Employing effective brainstorming techniques; refining your core idea and applying GMC to enrich character development
Week 3: Turning points/building your plot in manageable chunks; tips/tricks for plotting
Week 4: Weaving in subplot; final thoughts on plotting and further recommended reads

The course will be held via Yahoo groups. Questions and brainstorming is highly encouraged (a separate brainstorming loop will be set up just for this purpose!!). For maximum benefit, it's recommended you bring at least a core of a new story idea to work with, though if you have a work in progress, you can use this workshop to enrich and deepen your current plot.

BIO: I am a multi-published author with Simon and Schuster in teen fiction. I am also an acquisitions/developmental editor with Carina Press, the digital-first imprint of Harlequin Publishing. I've held numerous workshops on plotting, employing sophisticated style, voice and practical self-editing tips. I have a Bachelor's degree in English, Creative Writing, and a Master's degree in English Literature. I've also taught college composition.

Cost for this workshop is ONLY $20. I accept paypal or check.

The registration deadline is the day before the workshop starts. Once registered, you will be subscribed to the workshop loop prior to and for the duration of the class. The workshop is held on Yahoo groups--you will be sent an invitation to join. It's important you check your spam filter so you don't miss it! No refunds if you fail to enroll yourself once you are offered the invitation.

Questions? Want to sign up? Please email me at rhonda at rhondastapleton dot com -- thanks, and feel free to pass this info along to any of your friends!

Breaking Into Publishing, Part 1--Research!

As an editor and a novelist, I get asked by people all the time about my jobs. Doctors, financial planners, car salesmen and the like are curious about the lifestyle of The Novelist. For many, writing looks like an elusive, exotic career. They think we stay up all hours of the night, puffing away at cigarettes, drinking a snifter of brandy and mumbling under our breaths as we move ink-stained fingers across reams of paper.

Well, I for one only do that on Tuesday nights, thankyouverymuch. ;-)

The biggest question I get is how I got published (and also how much money I make, which is a whole Pandora's box in itself--but I digress, lol).

I remember being uber-green back in the day (around 2004), having that wisp of an idea hit me that I wanted to write a book. It's easy now for me to look at where I am, after years of being in publishing as an author and editor, and feel like I understand how the industry works. But when you start brand-new, you want to know how to break in.

You want to write a novel. You want to see it published.

If I had a dollar for each time someone asked me how to get a book published, I wouldn't have to work. Actually, that would be rad--can someone get that set up for me? Awesome, thaaaaanks. Anyway, some people ask because they're curious in general. They just want to know how the publishing industry works.

But some...some have a book that's been burning inside them for a long time. And they really want to know. How does one even start trying to understand the monumental task of writing a book, much less finding an agent and/or publisher?

In that vein, I've decided to do a series of posts outlining the whole process, plus tips/tricks about breaking into publishing with a traditional/digital publisher (assuming, of course, your story is well-crafted and commercial enough to gain you an agent and/or editor). Obviously I can't make any guarantees or promises, and this will be based off my own experiences, as well as some of my friends'. But if you're curious about how publishing works and/or you're dying to start that book, this might help.

Or if you're an author who gets this question all the time, maybe you can point people here. haha

If you decide you want to self-publish, that's a whole other series of posts. But some of these steps are the same, with the exception of actually submitting to agents/editors. Instead, you'll be acting as your own publisher. There's lots of great info on the interweb about self-publishing, so crack your knuckles and practice that Google Fu if you're interested in it! :D

Let me restate again that some of what I write in these blog posts will be a bit overgeneralized and that your own mileage may vary. These posts are meant to be informative and suggestive, not declarative, and hopefully may help you wade your way into the traditional/digital publishing industry. Each person's path will be unique, of course, but this is how I started as a writer.

So, without further ado, let's start with part 1: research.

* * *

You want to write a book. AWESOME. Now what the hell do you do?

First, you have some decisions to make. Is this fiction? Nonfiction? (If it's nonfiction, these posts may not all apply to you. My expertise is in fiction. But some of the process may be the same.). Let's assume you've decided you want to write a novel (and btw, it's just "novel"--not fiction novel...novels are fiction by nature). Here are some questions you should answer before you even start your research (hint: if you're not sure what you want to write, look at what you're reading. What books do you gobble up? What do you feel drawn to?). And if you already have a story/plot idea or a character in mind, where do you think it might fit?

1--what age group interests you? Do you want to write for little kids? Middle-schoolers? Young adults? Adults?  

2--what genre interests you? Do you like contemporaries? Thrillers? Historicals? Fantasy? Sci-fi/futuristic? Do you want any romance in your story? Are you a literary fiction fan? Etc.

So, let's say you figured out your genre and age group. Now you need to do some research. Here are some things you'll want to think about (oh, and some people like to come up with a book idea first and then do their research; some like to research first before even brainstorming book ideas. Totally your call, but in these posts, I'll assume you may not have an idea yet):

1--how big should the book be? Publishing tends to go by computer word count, using the following formatting for your manuscript: Times New Roman size 12 font, double-spaced, 1-inch margins. Old-school used to be page count with Courier New font, but most don't do that anymore. For example, if you're writing a teen novel, you're likely going to hit 50k words (200ish pages) up to 100k words (400ish pages), depending on what type of story you're writing. Adult novels generally run anywhere from 75k words (300ish pages) to 100k words (400ish pages). If you need more detail, you can find word counts for your specific genre by looking at what publishers tell you they want--just go to their website and look under submission guidelines (step 2 will tell you how to find these publishers/editors).

2--who are the "big-hitters" in your genre? This part's awesome because it requires you to do a crapload of reading. Look in bookstores. Book-reviewing blogs. Publishers' websites. Libraries. Ask your friends and family who read that genre. Who are the big authors being recommended over and over again? As you read, what do you like about their writing? What can you learn from them? Pick their novels apart--study how they handle characterization and pacing and setting and all of those nuances of craft. I'm a firm believer that you can't write a good novel if you don't learn how to read critically. And as you're finding the big-hitters, note who the publisher is--this will help you do #1 too. The spine and title page will let you know who published that book. Keep in mind, there aren't a ton of publishers, but there are a lot of imprints within each that publish different kinds of stories. And if you look in the acknowledgments page, authors often thank their editors. Do Google searches on those editors and see if they post anything about what they're looking for, etc. 

3--who are the smaller but respected authors in your genre? Again, more reading. YAY. For this one you can also look at who the library is promoting, who's winning awards, etc. For YA, try looking at the YALSA site to see who's gotten various awards. The ultimate point in #2 and #3 is to be familiar with who's writing in your genre. I hate to be blunt, but these people are your "competitors," for lack of a better term. They are also your colleagues, your foundation, and hopefully you'll make lifelong friendships with some of them, like I have!! See, you're not only trying to sell against other newbie writers, but against published writers too. Hopefully you'll take this thought in a positive spirit and recognize that your voice is unique and worth developing. :D 

4--what writing organizations/forums are out there for your genre? You can't throw a rock without hitting an organization or forum. These can be lifelines for new writers, so PLEASE consider exploring them. There's nothing like the camaraderie you get from being in the trenches with other writers. If you write romance, try Romance Writers of America or Romance Divas (which is free). For children's, try Verla Kay's Blueboards (also free!). There are a buuuunch more, depending on your genre...just keep digging. Google is your friend! 

5--what's selling/being acquired right now in your genre? By the time you read a hot-off-the-presses novel, it was actually acquired 1-2 years ago, if not longer. So looking at what's newly published won't give you hints about what editors are looking to acquire right now. Note: DO NOT TRY TO WRITE TO THE MARKET. What I mean is, if you hear editors are hot for sexy sci-fi stories, you decide to quickly write one and hope it'll sell. Trust me, by the time you finish your novel, you'll probably miss the boat, and they'll be on a new "trend." I did this with my first novel, *sobs.* When I finished and was querying agents, chick lit had gone the way of the dodo and it was very hard to get anyone to even look at my story. Anyway, it's good in general to see what editors want. And how do you find this? You look at who the editors are in your genre. A good place to start is the acknowledgements page of published novels, as mentioned above. Find that editor on Twitter/Facebook and Google. Learn his/her tastes. Editors and agents talk a lot to each other on Twitter--see who they're following and talking to. Another note: DO NOT PITCH EDITORS/AGENTS ON SOCIAL MEDIA WITH YOUR IDEAS OR BOOKS. Please, don't. Just engage, interact and read posts. Also, try looking at Publisher's Marketplace--it's $20 a month to subscribe and see daily postings of what's being acquired, but there's also a free daily email newsletter that's awesome. 

6--will you be seeking agent representation? This is a big question and only you can answer that for your own career aspirations. As for me, I chose to find an agent, but I have friends/colleagues who are happily unagented. In a future post I'll talk more about how to find agents, should you want to. But for now, you may want to chew around on this in your head and keep it on the back burner if you don't know yet.

So, whew! This was a long-ass post, but I hope it helps. To sum up: become familiar with what books are being published in your genre, what books are being acquired right now, what agents/editors are seeking, and what the technical parameters (page count, etc) are for your genre.

For my next post, stay tuned--I'll write tips about coming up with an idea, cranking out a book, finding critiquing help/developing craft, etc.

Comments? Question? Share 'em!

Lucky 7 Game (yes, I'm doing a meme!)

I hardly EVER do memes, but this one looks fun (plus, I was tagged by superstar Bookalicious Pam, so I kinda had to, lol. :D

Anyway, here are the rules:

Go to page 7 or 77 in your current manuscript
Go to line 7
Copy down the next seven lines/sentences as they are--no cheating
Tag 7 other authors

And now, without further ado, here's the excerpt from THIRST, my most current WIP (work in progress). This story is set in the desert:

“I’ll find out what’s going on and let you know. Don’t worry about it. It’ll be okay.” With that, she leaves.
I remain inside the tent for a moment, gathering my strength. Then I head out, back into the rapidly cooling evening air. Scattered echoes of laughter and murmured talking reach me as I head toward the fire, already flickering brightly. Nighttime on the grounds is my favorite—the air is cooler and the tribe spends our awake time singing and laughing, huddled around small fires.

And now I'm supposed to tag 7 people. So, uh, here we go, lol:

Gwen Hayes
Lara Zielin
Christine Bell
Heidi Kling
David Bridger
Larry Benjamin
Steven Katriel

Bahama Mama--my cruuuuuise pics

Yesterday, I got back from my cruise to the Bahamas. Guys, I can't even tell you how much fun it was. So I'll show pictures and let them speak for me (with a little commentary of course--we know I can't NOT talk, lol):

Our boat--the Carnival Pride. It was pretty dang big...I think we had around 2100 vacationers, plus over 900 crew members. There was a casino, tons of food, bars everywhere, etc. Random note: I saw a lot of back hair last week. Good times, good times. On a more positive note, I didn't get seasick.

The first sunset from the top of the boat. It was amazing. I couldn't get over the view of the endless ocean. We even saw dolphins swimming beside the boat one day!

My first drink on the boat--a Mai Tai. It was also amazing. Holy wah, the drinks were expensive, btw. Anywhere from $6 to $15. Yoinks. Still, it didn't stop me from sampling some. ;-)

So, we sailed a couple of days and landed in Cape Canaveral, FL on Wednesday. We went to Cocoa Beach and chilled for a bit. The ocean was COLD, dude. But we sucked it up and went in. And I'm glad we did--it was fun. Here's a shot of my kids, trying not to freeze their bits off in the water.

And me! This white hat was my best friend all week. It helped me not burn my pasty white skin. Though I did get some sunshine and a bit of a tan over the vacay.

On Thursday, we went to Nassau, Bahamas. It was the most amazing day ever. My daughter and I went parasailing, and I didn't crap my pants in the air, so that was good for us and the dudes driving the boat. The view from the sky was surreal--the water and small islands were breathtaking. The water was the most clear blue/green I've ever seen. It almost looked like Jell-O. I can't figure out how else to describe it. Just...amazing. Also, I saw Eddie Murphy's party island, which was crazy, as well as Chuck Norris's vacay house. Alas, I spotted no celebrities though.

Then we went on a Segway tour (this sign was in the city on the way to the tour site, lol), and I ran into pretty much everybody while trying to navigate it. I have discovered I have no talent at driving...well, anything. But it was a blast. Also, the other family on the Segway tour with us had a dad who didn't stop talking the entire time. It was one bad crack after another. I'm surprised our cab driver didn't steer the van into the ocean just to make the badness end.

Near the end of the tour, we stopped at a private beach area and got to play in the water. It was clear and warm. My daughter found a starfish.

Friday morning we went to Freeport, and the family did a little shopping. Then it was back on board for cruising until we made it Baltimore's port once again. The trip was unbelievable--oh, and we did a behind-the-scenes tour on Saturday morning of the boat, including a couple of the galleys, the crew quarters, the control room and the bridge (and the captain was super cool!). I had the best time on vacation and am so relaxed and happy. I can't wait to go again.

Thanks for letting me share! Have you been on a cruise? Tell me about it!

The 10 best writing tips I've ever received

I was trying to think of a blog post for today and realized I wanted to write about the craft of writing. But instead of just focusing on one aspect, I wanted to share 10 of the best writing tips I've gotten over the last several years. I hope these can help you (and please, feel free to post your own tips in the comments--I'm sure there are a bunch more that could be added to the list).

1--Every character is the hero of his/her own story. This one has been key to helping me remember that all characters should be multifaceted, even the "villains." That rude jerk in school has her own history, her own flaws and fears and vulnerabilities. The things that make her cry when she's all alone. When you can make your reader feel a variety of emotions about your bad guy, including even small flashes of empathy, you know that character is fleshed out. Nothing sucks more than 2D villains who say, "Mwahahahaaaa..." and twirl their sinister mustaches while delivering flat, cheesy dialogue. Please, make your villains compelling!

2--GMC. Goal, motivation, conflict. What does your character want? Why? What keeps your character from getting it? Three simple questions, but it has drastically impacted the quality of my writing. It keeps my plot focused and my pacing tight. It develops my characterization. In short, it's completely changed the way I write. Check out Deb Dixon's book called Goal, Motivation and Conflict. You won't be sorry!

3--Use all 5 senses. Sensory detail enriches your story in a way that brings it to life. In scenes that are high sexual/romantic tension, bring in all 5 senses. In other scenes, make sure you bring in at least 2, if not more. Of course, quality is key here. Be original, but not so over-the-top that you veer into purple prose or overwriting.

4--Pacing matters. This one I've learned a lot about while editing with Carina Press. Most pacing problems I see are slow pacing, with scenes that don't move the story forward at a satisfying speed. This will kill your story--you will quickly lose the reader's interest if you dump too much unneeded info in, especially at the beginning. If your paragraph or even a scene doesn't illuminate new/important information about your character, or advance the plot in a meaningful way, consider cutting/trimming it. Filler is bad, yo.

5--Be ruthless on your manuscript. Your story is not sacred. It's not a baby. After you draft, you have to be willing to make it as strong as it can be. Cut those passages that may be beautiful but unneeded. Tough love, guys...it hurts, but it works. I promise.

6--No effort is wasted. Yeah, you may realize after drafting your novel that it suuuuuuuuuucks. lol. Guess what--that's ok. It taught you how to write. It taught you how to hone your craft. That effort wasn't for vain, and it will help make your next story all the stronger.

7--Not every idea is good/worth developing. If you're anything like me, you have a billion story ideas. It's fun generating new ones. But the hard part is to hone in on the one that's going to be the most compelling, the strongest concept.

8--I'm not a writer, I'm a rewriter. I learned this in grad school and it's stuck with me since. It gives me permission to puke out a crappy first draft...and if any of you are like me, with strong internal editors, this is much-needed permission. As I draft, I know I'm going to rework it. It will go through heavy revisions. And that's okay. So I can focus on spitting out the story, developing character, etc. Later, I'll go through with a hatchet. Then a scalpel. Then tweezers. I'll gradually work my way down to the story I want to tell.

9--Your final story may never be what you think it should be. This is a lesson I continue to struggle with. I get great ideas...but sometimes the execution isn't quite what I thought it was going to be. I could work and work and work and work and work on a story forEVER. But there comes a point where I need to stop, where I'm not improving the story but just nitpicking.

10--Stop comparing yourself to other authors. Ohhhh, this is one of my biggest weaknesses. I see authors who turn phrases with such beautiful clarity and language that I covet their skills. COVET. But I am not that person, and that person is not me. I write in my style, and that's ok. To help appease the green-eyed beast, I study that person's craft--how does he/she pace the story? Evolve character? Evoke setting? Weave in subplot? etc. Then I see how to apply that to my own writing while staying true to my voice. It's good to be aware of what else is out there. It's also good to know how you are different.

I hope these tips help! And if you have any that you'd like to share, leave a comment!

I bought a unicorn touch lamp

Today I went shopping with two of my friends. Our goal--to pick up accessories for our bellydancing costumes. We went to a local mall.

The store where we got our stuff had this fascinating little...costume? in the window:

Now, I have to wonder...A) would anyone REALLY wear this? and B) WHY? FOR THE LOVE OF BABY JESUS, WHY? There's no crotch coverage. This looks like the most uncomfortable, trampalicious thing I've ever seen.

Anywho, after laughing heartily about that hideousness, we stopped in another store and bought bindis. And then, I saw it.

A unicorn touch lamp.

It's pretty much the most awesome thing I've ever gotten, and a complete steal at $20.

For those of you who don't know, I have a bit of a...thing about unicorns. I have since I was a kid. As an adult though, it's totally creepy admitting that out loud, which is why I don't normally purchase items with unicorns on them. But when I saw the lamp, I knew it had to be mine.

Here it is, in all its post-assembled, crazypants glory:

And a close-up of the unicorns, which GLITTER WHEN LIT UP, YOU GUYS:

I'm trying to figure out THE perfect place for this lamp. My initial thought was on my desk, but it's all the way in the basement and people won't be able to see it there.

All in all, an awesome shopping day.

Speed Hump, Anyone?

One of the weird things I do (out of, like, 400 billion weird things) is take pics of signs I find as I go oot and aboot in my daily life. Here are some of my favs:

This one's on the side of my husband's leaf blower. I like how they show you the mangled finger. Good warning, yo.

What makes me laugh about this sign in a nearby town is that right behind these signs is a lake. The sign on the top right isn't giving the best advice...

If I remember right, this one's from a Panera bathroom. It looks like the baby's going to kick her mom's armpits. Poor mom--ungrateful baby!

This one was in the waiting room of a car repair joint. I like how it shows you not only is the liquid bad for black bars, it will DESTROY YOUR THUMB.

This one was in the Walmart parking lot. Everyone I know loves a good Speed Hump. hahaha

My mom took this one in Tennessee. I like how the words weren't enough--we needed the image of the dude flying head-first off the bike, just to seal in the danger.


So, there ya go. Have fun sign-hunting!

Hey, Girl--Get Yer Struck On! Ryan Gosling did...

So, Struck (the 3-in-1 bind-up of my Stupid Cupid trilogy) released on December 6 in paperback and ebook for the amazeballs bargain price of $9.99--my little baby's all grown up and out there in the world for everyone to read. *sniffle*

I had so much fun writing this trilogy. It was a lot of hard work getting here, but I'm so, so glad I pushed myself to keep at it, through all the rough spots. There's nothing quite as humbling as seeing your book on the bookshelves--it never, ever gets old. I'm eternally grateful Simon Pulse took a chance on Felicity and her matchmaking shenanigans. (And I looooooove this cover!!)

My hands-down favorite scene in the first book of the trilogy was when Felicity walked in on her parents...uh...let's say, getting intimate. She'd decided a great anniversary present for them would be to give the gift of love, so she matchmade them--not realizing they'd be all over each other like white on rice. I giggled SO HARD when writing it, imagining how horrified I'd be if I caught my parents like that--uh, no offense, Mom and Dad.

Apparently, Ryan Gosling liked that scene as well--read what he had to say about it in the always-hilarious "Hey, Girl" meme.

Struck is available in print at Barnes and Noble in the US, and Chapters in Canada. It's possibly at some independent bookstores too...if you spot it at an indie store, please let me know! And, of course, it's available online--here's where you can find it:

Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Indiebound
Books-a-Million

Just in case you're interested, here's the blurb for Struck:

Felicity Walker believes in true love. That’s why she applies for a gig at the matchmaking company Cupid’s Hollow. But when Felicity gets the job, she learns that she isn’t just a matchmaker...she’s a cupid! (There’s more than one of them, you know.) Armed with a hot pink, tricked-out PDA infused with the latest in cupid magic (love arrows shot through email), Felicity works to meet her quota of successful matches. But the path to love is not always a straight shot....

Enter to win a signed copy of STRUCK!

So, I'm pretty much bouncing around the house like a kid on crack because I got two advanced copies of my December 6 release, STRUCK (which is my three-in-one bindup of STUPID CUPID, FLIRTING WITH DISASTER, and PUCKER UP). Naturally, I want to pet them all day...and after I'm done first-basing the book, give one away to you guys. Haha, I keed--I'll leave it to you to get to know my book, biblically or otherwise.

Interested in entering to win a signed copy of this book? It's super easy. All you need to do is leave a comment on this post answering the following: How do you feel about matchmaking--online, in person or by other means? Have you or anyone you've known found a significant other this way?

You can also earn an extra entry per pimpage (e.g., 1 for Twitter, 1 for Facebook, etc). In your entry reply, let me know where you shared it. Also, make sure to leave a way for me to reach you if you're the winner. You can post your email address or send it to me directly if you don't want it online (rhonda at rhondaedits dot com).

Contest starts today and runs through Sunday, November 27, 11:59 pm EST. Open only to residents of U.S. or Canada (sorry, shipping is craaaazy expensive otherwise). I'll randomly choose 1 winner from all viable entries.

Thanks, and good luck!

Where to find my books

Interested in purchasing my books? Here's where you can find them:

(STRUCK is the 3-book volume of the Stupid Cupid trilogy)

Felicity Walker believes in true love. That's why she applies for a gig at the matchmaking company Cupid's Hollow. But when Felicity gets the job, she learns that she isn't just a matchmaker...she's a cupid! (There's more than one of them, you know.)

Armed with a hot pink, tricked-out PDA infused with the latest in cupid magic (love arrows shot through email), Felicity works to meet her quota of successful matches. But the path to love is not always a straight shot...

Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Indiebound
Books-a-Million

Dear Teen Me includes advice from over 70 YA authors (including Lauren Oliver, Ellen Hopkins, and Nancy Holder, to name a few) to their teenage selves. The letters cover a wide range of topics, including physical abuse, body issues, bullying, friendship, love, and enough insecurities to fill an auditorium. So pick a page, and find out which of your favorite authors had a really bad first kiss? Who found true love at 18? Who wishes he’d had more fun in high school instead of studying so hard? Some authors write diary entries, some write letters, and a few graphic novelists turn their stories into visual art. And whether you hang out with the theater kids, the band geeks, the bad boys, the loners, the class presidents, the delinquents, the jocks, or the nerds, you’ll find friends--and a lot of familiar faces--in the course of Dear Teen Me. Edited by Dear Teen Me blog founders Miranda Kenneally and E. Kristin Anderson.

Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Indiebound
Books-a-Million

(STUPID CUPID is book 1 in the trilogy)

Felicity Walker believes in true love. That's why she applies for a gig at the matchmaking company Cupid's Hollow. But when Felicity gets the job, she learns that she isn't just a matchmaker...she's a cupid! (There's more than one of them, you know.)

Armed with a hot pink, tricked-out PDA infused with the latest in cupid magic (love arrows shot through email), Felicity works to meet her quota of successful matches. But when she bends the rules of cupidity by matching her best friend Maya with three different boys at once, disaster strikes. Felicity needs to come up with a plan to set it all right, pronto, before she gets fired...and before Maya ends up with her heart split in three.

Amazon ebook
Barnes and Noble ebook
Books-a-Million ebook

(FLIRTING WITH DISASTER is book 2 in the trilogy)

Felicity is a total romantic. That's why she follows her heart—not the rules—in her job as a cupid. But when Felicity turns her matchmaking magic on her best friend, Andy, it's Andy who breaks their golden rule: friends always come first. Andy is so wrapped up in her new guy that she's ditching everyone else. How can Felicity stop her BFF from letting a BF come between them?

Meanwhile, Felicity decides to get over her crush on Derek by setting him up with someone else—but in her impulsive haste, she accidentally matches him with the whole school, and now everyone is in love with him. The entire student body is headed toward heartbreak, just weeks before prom. Does Felicity have what it takes to make everyone's heart happy...including her own?

Amazon ebook
Barnes and Noble ebook
Books-a-Million ebook

(PUCKER UP is book 3 in the trilogy)

Felicity can't believe her luck. Her longtime crush is now officially her boyfriend, and just in time for prom. Felicity isn't just smitten with Derek, she's head-over-heels in love. So when she learns that her boss at Cupid's Hollow used cupid magic to make Derek fall for her, Felicity is devastated. What will happen when the magic wears off?

Felicity has only two weeks to win Derek's heart for real—no matter what it takes!

Amazon ebook
Barnes and Noble ebook
Books-a-Million ebook

(THE FIRST TIME is an YA short story anthology)

Rhonda's story: "Heart On"

Matt's a self-proclaimed geek. He spends his free time solving math problems for fun, and girls don't factor into that equation. So when his man-ho brother Troy sets him up on a blind date, Matt's eager to ditch her...until he sees Jessie and all of her hotness. But when she takes him to a narc anonymous meeting and makes up a wild story about being hooked on bathtub meth, he quickly realizes she's not only crazy hot—she's also just plain crazy.

Amazon ebook
Barnes and Noble ebook

(ETERNAL SPRING is a free YA short story anthology)

Rhonda's story: "The Language of Flowers"

Chrissy, a clerk at her aunt's flower shop, starts getting her own romantic surprises--flowers with a special secret meaning. Can she bury her longstanding unrequited crush on her best friend's brother to take a chance on mysterious love?

Amazon ebook

Amazon paperback

Kobo
Diesel ebook stores

(SUPER ZERO is an adult romance)

Working for superheroes isn't all it's cracked up to be...

When Jenna’s superhero boss The Machine gives her the opportunity to safeguard the changing crystal (a jewel that grants, changes or removes superpowers) she jumps at the chance, eager to do this so-called "cake" job and earn street cred with the Midwest League of Superheroes. To help her mission, the League assigns her a partner, the mysterious and super-sexy Vigilante. Too bad he's also super-grouchy--what a tragic waste of hotness.

Soon, Jenna learns the threat to the changing crystal is all too real, and her list of trustworthy people grows shorter by the minute. But when she discovers something even more sinister afoot, involving Vigilante's sexy arch nemesis Dementrix, it'll take all her skills to keep the mad villainess from executing her plan to unmask and decommission the world's superheroes...especially when Jenna accidentally becomes one herself.

Amazon ebook
Barnes and Noble ebook

Rejections from publishers--it's not personal!

So, I had to send a couple of rejections to authors whose manuscripts weren't quite right for Carina for various reasons. One author was amazingly gracious about it and I wouldn't hesitate to read future submissions from her. The other well, mentioned our name in a blog post and made snippy comments about us passing on the story. What's funny is, the ONLY reason that latter manuscript was rejected was because we aren't publishing that genre anymore. No commentary at all on the quality of the writing (which was amazing and totally moved me). Just a matter of the publisher changing scope.

Things like this happen ALL. THE. TIME. And it sucks--oh GOD, do I know how much it sucks. A couple of years ago I'd written a proposal for the Simon Pulse romantic comedy line. They loved it (naturally, because it was utterly brilliant, haha)...except they decided to put that line on hold and not publish anything for a while. So my proposal was rejected.

No fault of mine. No commentary on my writing. I nursed my wounds for a day or two, ate copious amounts of chocolate and moved on to the next idea.

It happens to all of us. ALL of us. I know a number of authors, myself included, who have been rejected post-publication. And from our own publishers, even.

Rejection isn't just the badge of the unpublished.

There are a number of reasons why manuscripts get rejected when being considering for acquisition:

--your manuscript is good, but needs too much work. This one's a judgment call the editor has to make. How much editing time do we put into helping the author craft this story into what it needs to be? Do we even HAVE that time to spare? Is this something we'll run into with every manuscript by this author, where it needs to be heavily massaged into salable condition? 

--your manuscript isn't marketable. Editors can love a manuscript--LOVE--but not be able to acquire it. Publishing is a business. Yes, we want to share with the world all those manuscripts we fall for, but we need to know they're going to sell too. A lot of money gets spent on editorial, covers, marketing, etc. Manuscripts that are a little too niche (like superheroes *sob*), that don't have a strong hook, that are in a sluggish genre can get rejected. 

--not everyone in the acquisitions team meeting loves the manuscript. The editor obviously loves it, but that doesn't mean everyone else will. In this case, it's hard for the editor not to feel like he/she's been rejected too. I've been there. It sucks. *reaches for candy bar* 

--marketing issues regarding the author. For example, the author has no website/facebook/twitter/blog, no notable desire to self-promote, etc (and NO, this won't make or break an acquisition, but it is a factor, let's be honest). Or another example: the author wants to write too many various genres with us, so we can't market that person effectively. Do we "brand" you as an urban fantasy author if your first novel is urban fantasy but your follow-up is historical, and your third is erotic romance? 

There are other reasons, of course. But note that none of the reasons above said you suck. Or that we hate you. Or that you should quit writing and go drink cheap vodka in the back of a van and spend the rest of your days making tacos or hemming pants or whatever.

When you're publicly rude about rejection, you're possibly making that editor feel like he/she just dodged a bullet with you and maaaaaaybe it was better that you weren't acquired. See, it's not just about the story, you guys--it's about relationships, about us working together on this project and future ones. If you can't be professional, if you rip on publishers all over the interwebs (even if it's not us but another publisher), why would I want to work with you? I get plenty of submissions from gracious, professional authors. My ultimate goal in life is to reduce drama. haha

Authors get rejected. I know it sucks. And yes, feel free to vent--to your friend, your critique partner, your spouse, your kid, your dog, your priest, your kid's teacher. But please, please, please remember that publishing is a lot smaller industry than you may think, and editors do check you out. It's the same with any job: no one wants to work with coworkers who smile to your face and say bad things about you when you're gone. We're looking to build relationships, not just acquire/publish one book and that's it, good luck to ya, don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

Another thing: there are LOTS of authors who have been rejected by a publisher but then were acquired with another manuscript (or sometimes, even the SAME story after being heavily revised).

So why burn bridges because you have a moment of anger? Take a breath, take two, take a few days to think about things before posting.

This has been a public service announcement. Thank you. lol

(note: naturally, any editorial posts I make here or elsewhere represent my feelings/thoughts only, not Carina Press or anyone else's)

Celebrate good times...with emo-coaster high-school poetry

Last night marks a blessed event in my household. After days of wandering around in my pajamas, mumbling incoherently to myself, ignoring the kids and husband and dogs, living off anything I could whip up from a box because I was IN THE WRITER ZONE and totally didn't have time for menial tasks like brushing my hair or anything, I finished my YA novel.

I FINISHED IT.

Holy crap on a cracker, this is a magical moment, you guys. I wrote what I wanted. Not under contract. No stresses about the market or what will sell. Not trying to please anyone else. Just decadent, glorious writing. I forgot how amazing that feels. This is why we write--just falling in love with crafting words and worlds again, creating characters who grow and change along their journey.

I found my voice. I let myself slide under my heroine's skin. Swooned over her relationship with her love interest. Entrenched myself in the city where I set the novel.

Saying "the end" to them is a little hard, to tell the truth--these two teens pulled me from my worst writing slump ever. They hold a special place in my heart. I'm soooo looking forward to polishing this sucka up and getting it to my agent.

Needless to say, I'm thrilled to be "back" in the saddle. And to continue the festivities, I'm going to share my first real examples of writing. See, I didn't start out as a novelist--I was a poet in high school. A really, really, REEEEEALLY horrible poet with a one-track mind: love.

Lovity love loversons--the subject of 99% of my emo-laden poetry. And lucky for you, I'm gifting one of those Shakespearean-level poems to the world today. See how I twist and turn a striking and completely non-cliched phrase, yet still cleverly play with meter and rhythm. Ooh and awe over my fierce skills in using the word "alas," composing this poem with deft "angsty teen bubble-handwriting" penmanship.

Aaaaanyway, yay! Have a great weekend, and I hope you sprinkle light drops of love on each rose petal you see. *snort*

Plotting workshop--coming in November!

Plotting--amazing how this one word can strike fear or even hatred in the hearts of writers. Writing is supposed to be creative, right?

Well, the problem is that many writers have no idea how to go about making a novel happen. How do you know your idea is big enough for a full novel? How do you make sure you won't be stuck with a saggy middle? What's a good way to weave subplots appropriately in a story and give them a meaningful connection with the main plot?

I'm offering a month-long workshop designed to teach you how to craft a full plot for a novel, including character depth/development, plot twists, the dark moment/climax, and a satisfactory ending. We'll use Debra Dixon's principles in her book Goal, Motivation, and Conflict as a partial basis for the workshop (it's highly recommended you purchase this book before the workshop--find it HERE), as well as various unique tips and tricks I employ in my own writing.

This intense, hands-on workshop will run from Nov 1 to 24. Here's a tentative syllabus (lessons posted twice a week on Tuesdays/Thursdays, with homework accompanying each lesson):

Week 1: Intro to Rhonda's nerdalicious plotting methodology; creating your own plan of action

Week 2: Employing effective brainstorming techniques; refining your core idea and applying GMC to enrich character development

Week 3: Turning points/building your plot in manageable chunks; tips/tricks for plotting

Week 4: Weaving in subplot; final thoughts on plotting

The course will be held via Yahoo groups. Questions and brainstorming is highly encouraged (a separate brainstorming loop will be set up just for this purpose!). For maximum benefit, it's recommended you bring at least a core of a new story idea to work with, though if you have a work in progress, you can use this workshop to enrich and deepen your current plot.

BIO: I am a multi-published author with Simon and Schuster in teen fiction. I am also an acquisitions/developmental editor with Carina Press, the e-book imprint of Harlequin Publishing. I offer numerous workshops on employing sophisticated style, voice, and practical self-editing tips. I have a Bachelor's degree in English, Creative Writing, and a Master's degree in English Literature. I've also taught college composition.

Cost for this workshop is $20. I accept paypal or check.

The registration deadline is the day before the workshop starts. Once registered, you will be subscribed to the workshop loop prior to and for the duration of the class. The workshop is held on Yahoo groups--you will be sent an invitation to join. It's important you check your spam filter so you don't miss it! No refunds if you fail to enroll yourself once you are offered the invitation.

Questions? Want to sign up? Please email me at rhonda@rhondastapleton.com -- thanks! :D

New release from teen author Danielle Joseph--Pure Red!

My sweetheart of a friend Danielle Joseph has a new release called Pure Red. I wanted to have her on the blog and do a little interview because she's pretty rad, and I'm super excited about this book and can't wait to read it. :D

So, here's the interview!

Danielle, this book is your third, yes? Do you think it was harder or easier to write?

It was easier because it was actually one of the first books that I wrote but I sold it third. After I sold my first two, I did a rewrite and then sold it.

Rock on! It gives us hope that books can still make it out there, even if they don't initially sell. So, if you could take any person to prom, who would it be and why?

I would take you to prom because we would be laughing the entire night! We would probably also rock the dance floor!

Oh, it's ON like diddy kong. I'm totally going to get a dress with a butt bow now. You should know I do a KILLER "sprinkler" move. haha. Okay, a seriously random Q: what's your secret favorite snack that you hide from people and pretend you totally didn't buy so they can't eat it all?

Hot Tamales are one of my favorite snacks. It's kind of silly that I hide them because I don't think anyone in my family would want to eat them.

WOW. I never would have guessed that. I tend to hide anything made of chocolate. Last Q for you: what piece of writing advice has been invaluable to you?

Write from your heart. As corny as it sounds, it works every time!

Thanks so much for being here, Danielle! And for our readers at home, here's a blurb about the book, Pure Red:

Orange is for energy, pink means love, and I, Cassia Bernard, do solemnly swear to find pure red—my passion—this summer. Dad's raison d'être is art. When he's painting, no one can reach him, not even me.

I'm giving basketball a chance. But what I really want to score this summer is the adoration of Graham Hadley—a.k.a. Cutebutt. Then when Dad agrees to mentor Graham with his art project, all of Cutebutt's attention is on Dad—leaving me feeling as colorless as the Miami sky on a rainy day. But I'm not giving up just yet.

Adventures With Pink Eye

My sister had the funniest yet most horrific visit to the doctor today. I wanted to share what she wrote in her Facebook note (and YES, I have her permission) because I'm pretty sure I laughed and laughed and laughed until I tinkled a little. Okay, a lot. Don't judge me.

Here's what she wrote, in all of its epic glory:

"So yesterday, my eye started looking red and angry. I tried allergy medicine and eye drops but by last night it looked like the Wrath of God. This morning I still had concentrated evil coming out of my eye, plus goop, so I went to the Fast Care center at Kroger for a prescription for eye drops.

As soon as I told the lady behind the counter that I thought I had pink eye, she immediately started gearing up for combat. She ran over and got gloves and cleaning cloths and proceded to clean everything I'd already touched and everything near me that I hadn't even come in contact with.

I must have looked a bit confused because she said, "It's okay, this is to protect you and the other patients." I asked her how cleaning something after I'd already touched it would protect me, but she just gave me a look and kept scrubbing. She literally cleaned EVERYTHING I came into contact with, even though she had on gloves. To get the proper visual, picture a panicked-looking young woman wearing bright blue gloves using a cleaning cloth to take my credit card from me so she could bill me.

I get that it needed to be clean, but not right in front of me! She also washed her hands around 7 times while she was taking my vitals. Nothing like feeling like Patient X in the movie Outbreak or something; I was pretty sure that after I left she'd called the CDC and that the military will be waiting at my house with a containment barrier.

So when I finally got in there with the doctor she informed me that I do have pink eye in BOTH EYES (gah!) and would need eye drops. She said that the medicine should be pretty cheap, but that if it wasn't then she'd call in another one. That was fine--I was more worried about whether it would burn. When I asked if it would, she promptly said that it was a cheap med, but if it was too expensive she'd call in another. Huh? So I said again, "Price is fine, I just want to know if it burns." Again, she mentioned the cost. We literally had this conversation 2 more times before she finally said that it may burn because of the irritation.

But the best part was yet to come. Finally she explained how to use the eye drops. Apparently I needed to press my tear duct while my "husband or boyfriend" put the drop in my eyes, then wait 30 seconds and blink 3 times. God help me if I blinked 2 or 4 instead. Seriously. Like, the next steps were to solve the riddle of the Sphinx and bring back a phoenix egg, and only then would I get to fight the dragon and cross the underworld to speak with the wizard who could give me the magic potion to cure my eye.

The next portion of the conversation is too wonderful to paraphrase, so I'll be using quotes...

Me, a little overwhelmed: "How do I apply this myself?"

Dr. Overly Complicated Directions: "What do you mean?"

Me, getting frustrated: "I'll be doing this myself. How do I do it?"

Dr. Starting to Panic: "You don't have a husband or boyfriend"??!!??!!! (be sure to add the proper amount of shock and horror to her voice when you read this)

Me, now confused and irritated: "Uhh, no, I'm single."

Dr. Now Very Worried About My Future: "You live alone???!!!" (pity and horror this time)

Me, thoroughly pissed off: "Yeah, all alone. It's just me and all of my cats."

Dr. Smelly Fart-Face: "Ohh, well I guess you can apply it yourself. Just do 2 drops and try to rush-press your tear ducts to keep the drops from dripping through the bottom of your eye into the back of your nose." (I wish I was making this up)

Sigh, so I don't even like cats, but seriously, within the span of 10 minutes they made me feel like I had the plague and was deliberately spreading Super AIDS to orphans, and that I was a spinster who would die alone to be eventually eaten by my cats because no man will ever love me. Probably because of the pink eye."

Okay, so let's all give my sister a little bit of love--poor thing is likely about to be quarantined in her apartment. I told her I hope she stocked up on ice cream...

Top Ten Ways to Drive an Editor to Drinking

As many of you know by now, I'm an acquisitions and developmental editor for Harlequin's e-publishing imprint Carina Press. My job is AWESOME. I get to read, read, readity read manuscripts. When I find books I love, I shamelessly beg the acquisition team to let me have 'em, and then I get to work with awesome authors and help make their books as strong and compelling as they can be.

But sometimes...sometimes, this job drives me to the drink. I'm not just talking about a gentle glass of riesling or chardonnay, either. No, sometimes I need a BIG boozy drink, like what this foxy lady is having:

So, without further ado, I present...the top 10 ways to drive an editor to drinking:

1--Send a manuscript that's insaaaaaaanely long. I'm talking 250,000-word tomes. Those make me cry. They make baby Jesus cry. They make Bobby McFarrin cry, and that dude is always happy. Cut that number in half at the VERY least (and even that's genre-specific, like epic fantasy and historicals...other genres are likely going to be a lower word count) and then, let's talk.

2--Email constantly about the status of your manuscript. My day flies by much quicker than I could ever have dreamed. I typically read new submissions on evenings and weekends because my business day is packed with editing my current authors, among other tasks. So it can take a while to get to new submissions. Please, don't fret. I promise, it's in the pile.

3--Send a manuscript that's a rough draft or hasn't been proofread. Editors know errors are going to happen. I'm totally cool with that, and I anticipate it--I just want a good story, and I'm happy to work with authors on the rest. But if your manuscript is littered with insanely obvious errors (e.g., there's a HUGE difference in spraying your cologne and spraying your colon)...well, it makes me drink. And my eyes bleed.

4--Tell everyone on FB/Twitter/your blog/in the newspaper that the editor is a fatty fat jerk for rejecting you. I can't emphasize enough that it isn't personal. Not every story works for every person. Just keep submitting to other editors. YOU ONLY NEED ONE EDITOR to love it and acquire it.

5--Nitpick to death about house style. Every publishing house has various particulars that are non-negotiable style-wise. Editors abide by these when we're editing your manuscript. Rejecting those edits just makes the job more difficult. And the liver more springy due to heavy drinking.

6--Be a total diva. My authors know I'm a hands-on, thorough editor. I comment a LOT as I read and edit because I'm engaged in the story. When I present an edited manuscript, there's lots of stuff in there that are suggestions and don't NEED to be followed. If you don't want to do those, no skin off my nose. However, there's other stuff I recommend edits for because of more serious content issues. Battling over edits makes me dislike working with you. I'd MUCH rather you take time to consider the edits, and if you don't want to make particular changes, let's talk. We can find a compromise that makes everyone happy.

7--When you get an offer from another publisher, only give, like, 2 minutes to read/decide upon your manuscript. Look, the buck doesn't stop here. Even if for some reason I'm able to read through your manuscript overnight (because typically, I have to push aside all my other work to do so), it still has to go to an acquisitions meeting. And those aren't daily--at least, not in my experience. Harlequin's meetings are usually weekly. I can't move mountains or make it go faster. Please, be patient.

8--In your query letter, say you're the next big thing in X genre. You telling me that your writing is better than bestselling authors is a big old turn-off. Don't brag (and that includes telling me that your story is tear-jerkingly amazing, or hilarious, or brilliant, etc). Let your writing speak for itself.

9--Send inappropriate material. What I mean by this is stuff that our publishing house doesn't read. For Carina Press, that would be things like poetry, anything with under-18 sex scenes that could be construed as pornographic in nature, YA, etc. Please read the guidelines.

10--Ask the editor to tell you every single reason why your manuscript was rejected. I know you want answers, but I read dozens of submissions each month and just don't have time. There are a lot of very common reasons why manuscripts are rejected--I've posted them on my blog. Carina Press has done the same. I know other editors, agents and industry pros do too. But my job as an acquisitions editor isn't to help you grow your craft. It's to find manuscripts I want to acquire. So find a critique partner. Read books on craft. Join a writer's group. Hire a freelance editor. There are a lot of great options for you.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more manuscripts to read...and a glass of vodka that's calling my name. haha

KY and OH, here I come!

It's time for the second leg of the Girls Taking Over the World tour! Join me, Saundra Mitchell, Lara Zielin and Christine Johnson (plus special guests Julie Kagawa and Sara Bennett Wealer) as we sign books, talk about YA and promote girl power! More details HERE.

Here's my signing schedule (note: I won't be able to attend the Thursday signing in IN as I'd previously thought, though Saundra, Lara and Christine will still be there and rocking it!):

Book Talk, Q&A, Signing
Friday, August 26, 2011 7-9 PM
Special Guest: Julie Kagawa
Campbell County Public Library
Carrico/Ft. Thomas Branch
1000 Highland Ave
Ft. Thomas, KY 41075
(Sponsored by Blue Marble)

Book Talk, Signing
Saturday, August 27, 2011 4-6 PM
Special Guest: Sara Bennett Wealer
blue manatee
3054 Madison Road
Cincinnati, OH 45209

I hope to see you guys there. Woohoo!

Seven things that are awesome

My darling sweetcheeks friend Lara Zielin totally did this, and I'm going to steal it because hey, thinking about happy things is never a waste of time. So, here we go--seven things I think are uber awesome, with accompanying pictures:

1. Whacky warning signs. This one was on the side of a blower man tool thingie. I love how it shows the severed finger. Warning! If you're stupid and stick your hand in here, you WILL LOSE a finger. Don't be like this fool.

2. Foxy shoes. Chad got me these for Christmas, and I LOVE THEM and totally can't wait until fall so I can rock these suckas.

3. Funny pie charts. hahahahaha get it? It's a BOOTY.

4. Fires! This one is from my fireplace. Look at how fancypants I stacked it--ooh la la!

5. Dog spooning. My little doxie pup Duke is trying his best to spoon Lucy, a vishla. Good try, little guy. Good try.

6. Themed parties. Back in March I held an Ides of March toga party. CHECK OUT THIS CAKE. It was hilarious. Rivers of blood. A knife. Body parts. Epic.

7. This puppet. I named him Officer No-Nos. He has a theme song. He will be vlogging with me verra soon, during which time you shall hear his theme song. I think he's hilarious. LOOK AT THAT 'STACHE.


Okay, your turn--what do you think is awesome? Share with meeeee. Or, if you do your own blog post, comment with the linky!

You found me by googling what?

Once again, it's time to play, "How in the World Did You Find Me?", a fun little game where I pull up the cracked-out keywords people use to find me. Here are my favs among this feisty bunch:

--World's crappiest house. Well, I know my house needs to be clean, but I'd HARDLY call it the crappiest.

--Chicken sandwich with chips. Okay, that sounds REALLY good right now.

--Creepy songs about young girls. Wonderful. I write ONE blog post about creepy pedo songs, and now I'm the go-to gal for it. Yes, I leave quite a legacy for my children.

--How do I morph into a yugioh girl character? Um, I don't know...but I'm laughing. Hard. And if you find out, please let the rest of us know.

--I like a 12 year olf. I have nooooo idea what this means, but perhaps you meant to write "old" instead of "olf"...? And if that's true, why would you google this phrase?

--jewish kick off uncomfortable shoes. hahaha. HAHAHAHAHA

--gut eating. EWW.

So, that's it for now. Do you have a blog or site? What funny keywords have people used to find YOU? Share in the comments!

Writing for writing's sake--how I missed this

Warning--this is a very raw post about writing and the publishing industry. Be warned...

As some of you may know, I sold my YA trilogy STUPID CUPID in February 2008. Since then, I've written a number of proposals, brainstormed dozens of ideas, frantically wrote and wrote and wrote and pulled hair out and wrote and wrote and wrote more in the increasingly desperate attempt to sell again.

It didn't happen.

My books came out in December 2009, February 2010, May 2010. They hit the shelves. Then shortly thereafter they left the shelves, wallowing away into certain obscurity. Book tours and signings came and went, gaining me a few new readers at a time. Web site updates, more writing, gotta promote myself, why isn't anything new selling? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Writing became work. Work became a strain. Strain made me lose my joy. Instead, life became all about the numbers--how can I increase my sales? How can I increase my sales? How can I sell new books to build a backlist to increase my sales? HOW HOW HOW?

And meanwhile, in the deep-down part of me I was too scared to face, I felt unhappy. Disappointed. Invisible. Stupid. Talentless. Lame. Darling good writer friends continued to sell new books. People I couldn't stand continued to sell new books, and even shoot to the tops of bestseller lists. And here was me, somewhere in the middle of all that, writing and promoting and writing and promoting and pretty much drowning in lower midlist hell.

The continued rejection weighed on me. I struggled with excitement over promoting books that essentially felt dead in the water. I decided self-publishing is the exciting new world, so I pulled out a manuscript I loved but was a hard sell, polished up my darling superheroes and sent it out into the world, sure this would be the answer.

Still no increase in my numbers. No big sales. No big burst of popularity or notoriety.

My Stupid Cupid trilogy is being bound into one volume called STRUCK, releasing in December. A good last effort for me to get back on the bookshelves, continue to reach a new audience. Will it work? Honestly? I have no idea. But I've learned not to hold my breath anymore, to not expect anything, as cynical as it sounds. Though I've been in this industry for a few years now, there are so many things I still have to learn. Things I don't understand. Things that sting deeply.

The biggest problem here is that writing lost its sparkle. Lost its magic. Brainstorming was no longer fun--it was about coming up with a big concept that would surely sell. But it never did. It's embarrassing to think about how many ideas and proposals I've written that have flopped. But sometimes, that's how it goes. For a lot of people, that's how it goes.

Then I got a book idea. Very different than anything I've written. Dark. Brutal. Filled with scary emotions. An adult serial killer story that is going slowly, but moving forward. That is pulling out of me things I didn't realize I had. Depths I didn't realize I carried. Craft I didn't realize I could achieve.

And after that, after I've written the first 100 pgs and sent it to my adult agent, I'll go back to a YA proposal I'd abandoned before. One that is good and strong and compelling for me but had another too-similar story sell. So I'd dropped it, because my focus was on selling, not on writing.

But not right now. Right now, my focus is falling in love with writing again. I'm totally loving this crazy weird serial killer story. I'm eagerly anticipating my agent's opinions and thoughts so I can make it as strong as it can be.

And after that, I'll finish the YA proposal, because even though others have been sold like it, none of them are quite like mine. None of them have my voice, my eyes, my feelings, my unique point of view. So I will tell that story too. And I'll send it to my YA agent and work on making it awesome. And then hopefully, we'll send both of these stories out to editors.

Yesterday, I stumbled across the first YA I wrote. The one that got me my YA agent. I remember drafting it, the hopes and emotions and total zoning out I did as I escaped into my words and just...did. Didn't stress then about high-concept or selling. Didn't stress about backlist or bookshelves. Just wrote for the sheer joy of it.

God, I missed that.

The story didn't sell. Rereading it, I can see why. It needs more depth. More emotion. The characters didn't resonate enough. It took me 4 years, 4 other full novels, countless proposals for me to see that. To understand why this effort was close, but not quite there. And more importantly, for me to see how to fix those problems.

I'm reconnecting with my first love now, feeling that blush, that spark again. Remembering how much fun it was to just drift off into my own little world and breathe life into people who didn't exist before I created them.

God, I missed that.

So to all you other writers out there--to those of you who haven't sold yet. To those of you who have sold and like me, want so badly to sell again you can taste it. Hunger for it. I know how that feels. But please, don't let it make you lose your love of writing. This industry can tear you down so quickly. It can break your heart and spirit if you let it.

Your voice is your own. No one else can see or tell a story the way you can. Capture that. Don't let it go. Don't give up on what you want. But ultimately, write because you love it.

If I never sell another book again, I have to learn to be okay with that. I've long since discovered I can't control that, no matter how hard I try. All I can control is my writing, trying to bring out the best in me each time I sit down at my computer. Growing my craft, learning, connecting with other writers.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get back to writing. I have a lot to do, and I'm excited to be doing it.

IN and MI folks--come see me next weekend for booksigning!

I'm doing a group signing for an event next weekend called (most epically) GIRLS TAKING OVER THE WORLD. Yes, it's true. Girls rule. Join me, Lara Zielin, Christine Johnson and Saundra Mitchell (with guest Aimée Carter) as we dish on how awesome it is to be a chick and why girl power is on the rise.

Here's the link showing all the tour dates: GTOTW. And here's our tour schedule for next weekend!

Reading, Q and A, Signing
Friday, August 5, 2011 7:00-9:00 PM
Nicola's Books
Special Guest: Aimée Carter
Westgate Shopping Center
2513 Jackson Avenue
Ann Arbor, MI 48103


Booktalk and Signing
Saturday, August 6, 2011 6:00-8:00PM
Summer's Stories
131 S Main
Kendallville, IN 46755


Booktalk and Signing
Sunday, August 7, 2011 2:00-4:00PM
Special Guest: Aimée Carter
Barnes and Noble Livonia
17111 Haggerty Rd.
Northville, MI 48167

It's my birthday--giveaway of TEN copies of Super Zero!

So, today is my BIRTHDAY, holla! I'm 35. Yup, hit mid-thirties and moving along quite nicely. And still saying ridiculous things like, "holla!"

Anyway, let's celebrate. I'm going to give away TEN copies of my adult superhero novel, SUPER ZERO. And how can you enter to win a copy of this oh-so whacky fun (and yet...strangely alluring) ebook? By answering this simple question in the comments area: Who's your fav superhero and why?

If you tweet/FB/Google+/blog/etc. the contest, you get an extra entry per each effort, so make sure to let me know in your comment! And please make sure to provide me with an email address so I can reach you in case you're a winner.

Let's keep it open for a few days. Contest will end Monday night, 7/25/11 at 11:59 pm EST. So enter, enter, enter (and don't forget, if you help me spread the word, you get an extra entry per promo). Contest is open to anyone. Prize will be distributed via Amazon or emailed directly to you if you don't have an Amazon acct--I have a variety of formats available, so if you don't have an ereader or ebook apps on your phone/computer, you can still enter to win.

Thanks so much, guys!