I've been crazy busy reading submissions for Carina Press (I'm an acquisitions/developmental editor). So I thought I'd do a blog post discussing some of the most common issues I see within the first 3 chapters (which is how I base my decision on if I want to read the full or not). By avoiding these issues, you can keep your manuscript from getting rejected during the initial evaluation and lure me into wanting to read more:
Without further ado, here we go:
--Too much plot, not enough character. I looooves me a good plot-driven story, but when you're throwing way too much plot in at the beginning it's not only disorienting, it usually also means your characterization is too thin. For me, it's all about falling for the characters. If I don't love your characters, your plot can kick ass but still not pull me in. If I don't care about the protagonists, I won't care about whatever they're doing or going through.
--Too much introspection. On the other side of the coin is when authors have TOO much navel-gazing, meditation, deep thinking, etc. by their main characters. If your character isn't doing anything for several pages because he/she is musing on his/her past, on how he/she is feeling, etc., it's going to bore me. There is a delicate balance that must occur between plot and character, especially at the beginning. At best, you have 5 pages to hook me.
--Too much info drop. I rarely see the opposite problem, where further info/orientation is needed to understand the plot, but it does happen occasionally. More often though, I tend to see everything and the kitchen sink thrown into the first chapter. I only need enough info on the character's past, on the plot, etc. to hook me. As a reader, I trust you will unravel the rest of the info throughout the novel where it's needed. I don't need to know about your character's damaged past with her mom, her memories of shoe shopping with her bff, how many boyfriends she had in high school, etc.
--Poor dialogue. There are several dialogue issues I want to cover (and of course, some of this will depend on the nature/genre of the story you're writing, your characters, etc):
- Sometimes I see authors put too much info drop in dialogue, which is awkward and comes across as soap-operaish. If your characters already know it, don't put it in dialogue. "But Jimmy, as my twin brother you should know that our mom jumped off a cliff last year!"
- Too much proper name/nickname/job title use. How often do people really say each other's name in real life? In dialogue, I see this all the time. "Yes, Doctor. I know, Doctor. That's true, Doctor." or, "Mother, you know I don't like that. I want you to know, Mother, that I hate you. Mother, the chicken hasn't thawed yet." It's awkward and wordy and unnecessary. Trim, trim, trim!
- Not enough contractions. Listen to how real people talk--we contract words all the time. Do it in dialogue. "I will not listen to this drivel anymore. I have got to go to the store." It doesn't feel like real dialogue.
- Too many ellipses, dashes, etc. "But...I need you to know...that...I love...you." It's way too much. Use them sparingly. Don't have your characters sound like they are taking a breath between words, haha.
- All your characters sound the same. People have pet phrases they use, different speech cadences, varying education levels, unique ways of viewing the world and making comparisons of the unknown to things they already know in order to assimilate new info. Play on that.
--Instant love or mega-lust. Let's be realistic...if you're getting a round of bullets shot at your face, are you going to be staring into the eyes of your rescuer and dreaming about wanting to make babies with him/her at that moment? Hiiiighly doubt it. Yes, chemistry is wonderful. Just keep it in a reasonable dose and appropriate to what's going on in the plot. Plus, look at how you've characterized your protagonist(s)--will he/she be more reserved, fall instantly, etc? Those things will shape the romantic arc.
--No chemistry. On the flip side of the above, it saddens me when in a romantic tale, the characters don't seem attracted to each other. Show attraction through body language on the parts of both characters, and internal dialogue/feelings/emotions on the part of the POV (point of view) character.
--Characters turning me off. There's quite a few under this header:
- Don't make your character do unreasonable (or stupid, or even dangerous) stuff but try to present it as a reasonable reaction. If your character is a mom, she's not likely going to trust a total stranger with her baby while she runs urgent errands, even if he is mega-foxy. That's an instant turn-off for me.
- Make sure your character acts age-appropriate. Don't have your 35-year-old throwing a hissy fit or holding a vicious grudge against the guy in high school who broke her heart--I worry about her mental health if she's unable to get over crap like that, and it makes me lose sympathy for her.
- Please don't make your characters vain or arrogant--most people can't relate to that (and if he/she is, you have to work doubly hard at showing the vulnerability deep inside so we're not turned off).
- If your character is angry or bitter throughout the bulk of the first three chapters (okay, I'll be honest...if it extends more than the first scene), it's going to be really, really hard for me to be pulled into your pages, no matter how well your story is written. I don't want to read about people whose biggest emotion is bitterness. I see enough of that in real life, haha.
- Desperation and self-flagellation is a stinky cologne. If your heroine or hero comes across as desperate--for a job, for a romantic partner, for anything that isn't life-threatening or urgent, it's going to turn me off. Don't make your characters such big downers that we feel depressed reading their stories.
- Way too weird characters. If your characters are TOO out-there, I don't feel like I can relate to them, and it turns me off.
- "Meh"characters. Sometimes you have a story that's technically well-written, but the characters aren't unique or fun or spunky. There's nothing special about them to draw me into their world, make me feel vested in their journey. One of my fav things is to make a list of odd habits people I "study" (read: stalk, haha) have so when I write, I can use those little details to add fun quirks.
I can go on and on and onnnnn. But I just wanted to give you a taste of some of the issues that make me reject the partial of a manuscript--and of course, it goes without saying that this is all just my opinion, and other editors may feel differently. The stories that wow me, that draw me in are the ones that in general don't make these errors. By not tripping me up while reading, I get caught up in the narrative. And if I find a story I love, I'm totally willing to work with authors on making it as strong as possible.
Have questions or thoughts? Post 'em here!
, a young adult novel by Jennifer Donnelly, and am already drawn into it. The narrator sounds so broken and pained, and it caught me by surprise how rawly she comes across on the page. From what I understand, she finds a secret diary by someone from the past and gets caught up in its story.
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