Be Our Valentine--Giveaway!

Got any plans this Valentine's Day? How about a date with THE ESPRESSOLOGIST, STUPID CUPID, and A MATCH MADE IN HIGH SCHOOL? That's hot, right? You could have all three of us, autographed and in your hands by Valentine's Day. And how about handmade Valentine's cards from all three authors? Hard to resist, I know. There may even be a little chocolate in there for you too, if you play your cards right.

First you have to flirt with us. Just a little. Finish this poem, "Roses are red...", in the comments in this post, or HERE or HERE, for one entry (up to three entries if you hit up all three of our blogs.) No more than once at each blog, though. For an additional entry, tell your friends about this contest and, in the comments, tell us where you told them (one entry for each place you told them--blog, tweet, facebook etc.).

Come on, you know you want us! Win our love! You have until February 7th at midnight EST! We’ll announce the winner on all three of our blogs February 8th. US/Canada only, please.

Rhonda Stapleton Obituaries--REALLY???

I thought it would be fun to peek at the search terms people have used to find my blog. Some of them are what I expected, like people looking up info about me, my book, my American Idol audition, writing advice, etc. But some of them--well, let's just say I'm scared for mankind.

Here are the top 5 that I thought were most........uh, interesting, to say the least:

--how to spy on your insanely hot sister (I am sooooo not making this up. And yes, this is me throwing up in my mouth.)

--creepy pedophile lyrics songs (I'm sure this one is because I posted my top 10 creepiest songs. But still, not too comforted.)

--i have a drinking problem (Maybe coming to my blog isn't the best place to get that fixed, buddy...)

--rhonda stapleton obituaries (Gee. Thanks a lot.)

--download stupid cupid by rhonda stapleton for free (Heyyyyyy here's an idea: how about you get it from the library if you don't wanna buy a copy? Just sayin'...)

So, there ya go. Anyone else have a site counter on their blogs? Ever get any really weird search terms that people use to find you? Dish it up--I'd love to know I'm not alone in this. LOL

Battling the control freak in me

I tend to be a bit of a worry-wart. When things are out of my control, I start freaking out. I don't like feeling helpless. I think part of it is because I crave security. I like feeling like I can at least somewhat control my future because of my actions.

My day job is coming to an end in October--they are closing our site down. Yes, I am really happy that I have plenty of time to hunt for a new position, but given the current economy, I worry I won't find one, even with this much lead time. I'm actually having nightmares about juggling 4-5 different jobs just to try to keep up...and it not working out.

Writing is actually the same way: the only thing you can really control is what you write. After that, a lot of it is out of your hands--if an agent will like it and want to rep you. If an editor will see something in your manuscript. If the acquisition committee will agree with the editor. I'm trying to sell another book right now, and I'm working on new proposals like mad. Even selling before is no guarantee you will sell again...which of course, bothers me a lot. But it's something I continue to strive to let go of--the best thing I can do is try to make sure my ideas and writing are marketable and strong.

There's an old saying that goes, "Leap, and the net will appear." This is something I need to work more on believing this year. I'm doing the best I can. I have to trust that I'm paving the way for good things to happen for me and my family. Even though it's insanely scary. Even though I'm trusting in something I can't see right now.

But that's what faith is all about, right?

To anyone else out there struggling with insecure futures, hang in there--we can get through this. ((hugs))

Why 70s movie BLACK BELT JONES is awesome

The manpanion and I bought a 4-pack of 70's urban action movies for 10 bucks. Last night, we watched one of them, called Black Belt Jones. Okay, if you haven't seen this movie, PLEASE watch the trailer on youtube HERE, and then come back to read the rest of my post. Seriously. You will die--it is made of so much awesome, it hurts. Best $2.50 we ever spent, hands down.

And here's why.

1--The budget. The manpanion and I think it's a fair guestimate to say that over half the movie's funding was spent on glass windows. Seriously, pretty much every scene has a window or two or twelve broken by heads and body parts being smashed through them. And the other half of the budget is spent on this massive car-wash suds scene at the end. I've never seen anything like it.

2--The language. Do you dig, baby? Because the dialogue, man, is hip! The mafia don says "Mamma mia!" when he gets mad, true to Italian stereotype. The n-word is thrown around like a frisbee throughout the whole movie. The whole thing feels soooooo 70's.

3--The love scene. The hero (Black Belt Jones--obviously dubbed because of his mad martial arts skills) and heroine (a super-rad fighter herself) do some weird flirty thing where he comes on to her, but she says any man who wants her has to take it. Okayyyy. Then, they start fighting. I mean, she's kicking the living pee out of him and flinging him all around the beach. They get all riled up during their interaction and end up making sweet sweet love under a tent on the beach (well, after they scared two naked hippie teens out of there).

4--The outfits. This one guy in the movie is wearing what has to be the pointiest, biggest collar I've ever seen. The clothes, they are extra tight, extra pastel and checkered and paisleyed. And the pants are extra revealing...if ya know what I mean.

5--The fight scenes. The soap suds scene at the end is hilarious and super creative. The chick keeps dumping people into the back of the garbage truck--all while she's wearing a shirt with no underpants on. And there are soooo many crotches grabbed throughout the film, you become almost numb to them. The sound effects with each punch and kick and smack are funny and reinforce that super-cheese 70's-movie element that I just love.

6--The random elements. Seriously, I've never seen so many random things thrown into a movie before. Here's a taste: trampolines, polariod cameras, fire extinguishers, garbage trucks, a car wash, a jump rope, barefooted martial arts students, guns, wine, scandalous pictures (which we never see or learn what they contain), dirty money, police cars, soap suds, and red underpants.

Overall, this movie gets a huge 2-thumbs up from me. I can't wait to watch the other 3 movies!!

Questions Writers Ask...And The Answers!

Okay, you guys asked me some questions about writing, and here are my answers. I hope they help!!

Q: Do you know a good website to find a list of literary agents that would be interested in children's books?

A: Oh, heck yeah!! My fav is Agent Query -- you can do a search by genre and even ask for just agents who take email queries and are currently open. I used it when I was querying! Other fav links: The Water Cooler, which shows other writer's feedback on agents; Preditors and Editors, which shows info on if agents have sold; and Publisher's Marketplace, which costs $20 a month but shows what agents themselves have reported for their sales (If you're wanting to use this to figure out who to query, I suggest maybe buying a subscription for a month and researching the crap out of the site during that time! LOL).

Q: I do have a question about the writing process. You see I have this problem, I write parts of my stories randomly and I can't for the life of me seem to organize myself. How do you do it? Do you plan what you're gonna write first or do you write whatever comes to mind first and then put it all together.

A: I am sooooo a plotter. If I try to just sit down and write without knowing where I'm going in the story, I freeze up, badly. Here's my typical process: I get a kernel of a plot idea and write down everything I can think of about it. Once I've puked all of that out, I look at what I have and figure out first what the main story arc will be (mainly, what are the big plot points I want to hit on). Then I figure out how my character can grow/change within that. Or, I do the reverse if I started off with a character idea. Actually, I wrote a previous blog entry that shows some practical tips on starting a novel, HERE. Basically, I find it works better for me to go in chronological order with plotting and writing, because my story builds better and stronger that way.

Q: If you could maybe offer some suggestions as to how to create some healthy, useful writing habits as well I will be very grateful. You see I have all the ideas in the world, my mind is constantly working but even though I have the time to write I don't know why I just don't sit and do it.

A: The best thing you can do for your writing is write regularly. You have to really force yourself to get into the habit and not give up on it, even if it sucks sometimes. Treat it like a job--you may not always LOVE your work, but you need to do it. What I do is, when I'm writing a book, I write 5 days a week and give myself 2 "weekend" days per week. I find that I can generally write 3 pages in an hour, so I will do either 3 or 6 pages a day, 5 days a week, depending on my schedule. It's steady progress, which makes me feel encouraged. I also have a crit partner, and we challenge each other to send material to each other daily while we're drafting. Being accountable to someone else REALLY helps!

Q: I was wondering how you get/got over the middle-of-the-book what-was-I-thinking I-should-throw-this-out-and-start-over?

A: Oh man, I hate that. We all go through it. I do with pretty much every book. haha. Here's what I generally do: first, I tell myself that the story is a rough draft, and I give myself permission to basically write crap. That means if I'm not happy with a scene that I know needs to be in there, I'll flag it to go back and write later so I can keep moving forward. I sometimes leave out description and focus on bigger plot points/dialogue that I know will need to be filled in later. You can't edit what you haven't written. Likely, when you get to the end and let the book cool off for a few days, you will find lots of material you want to keep upon rereading. The big thing is, don't quit a story because you are afraid it sucks. That's your internal editor, and the editor isn't supposed to come into play until after you've written. You will crush your creative side if you let the editor dominate!!

Q: I have a question on behalf of my hubby. He's written a book and is in the process of soliciting agents. He feels that maybe his synopsis/query letter needs to be re-evaluated, but he's at a loss as to how to go about it...any suggestions?

Ooooooh good question! There are lots of books and websites out there that show you how to draft a query letter. Actually, I posted mine HERE, so feel free to take a peek. In that post, I show what I wrote and broke it down, telling why I wrote it the way I did. Maybe an example would help? Also, have him join a writing group/forum--getting outside perspectives can be invaluable.

Q: How do you pull past the "OMG I SUCK" feeling?

A: Wait, you mean you can get over that feeling? ROFL. I don't think I ever will. It's just the nature of the business. It's soooo hard, especially if you start comparing yourself to others--wow, their description is better. Their guys are hotter. Their characters are more compelling. It goes on and on. What I try to do to counter that feeling (well, as best as possible) is tell myself that I am on my own path. And with each book I write, I hone my craft better and better. None of us are perfect. But if we are serious about it, we should continue to learn and grow. Study those authors who are really good--dissect their stories. See the mechanics of how they make that magic happen. And see how you can use those techniques in your writing!

Q: Any favorite books on craft?

A: I have lots! Strunk & White's The Elements of Style is a fav. I also love my Flip Dictionary--it's a great resource when I can't think of the right word I want to say. Things Your Grammar Never Told You is a funny book that makes grammar non-boring. Writer's Digest makes tons of great reference books--all from drafting your first novel, to finding an agent, to honing your craft, to developing plot and character, to researching careers. Definitely dig into them!

Thanks so much to everyone for the FABOO questions! If you have anything you want to ask, please add the question in the comments, and I'll update this post with my answers. And PLEASE, feel free to jump in and share your own advice as well! I'm always on the lookout for new tips and tricks. :D

Stupid Cupid super fab awesome launch party pics

So, last week was the launch party for Stupid Cupid at the Cuyahoga County Public Library (Parma-South branch). It was a freaking BLAST--we decorated the entire place with hearts and red and pink and all kinds of ooey gooey girly stuff. Almost 100 people showed up over the course of the evening, and the bookseller from Joseph-Beth Bookstores sold out of the stack of my books that she'd brought. Whoop whoop!

Anyway, here are some pics:

My super-festive cake. Isn't it cute? There wasn't much left of it after the party. And the big cookie I'd gotten was completely gone.

A pic of my daughter Shelby on the left--her heart says "Author's Daughter". Her friend Alex is beside her, wearing a heart that says "friend of author's daughter". And Cassidy, whose heart says "cousin of author's daughter", is in the front. They just wanted to make sure everyone knew who they were. haha

And here I am in the middle, wooing the crowd with my unbelievable...uh, crowd-wooing skills, I guess. During the party, I read a scene from my story, which was so fun and scary at the same time.

Here's a pic of me and my mom. Awwwwwww look how engrossed we are in whatever the crap we were talking about. And my friend Athena brought me flowers--wasn't that sweet? :D

Another crowd pic. My son Bryan is in the blue coat, and my aunt Lou in the red hoodie. When I was signing, the line was so long it was out the door. No kidding--I was floored!

Thank you again to everyone who came to my launch party. You made it a blast for me. It's something I will never, ever forget. ((hugs))

Use technology to help those in Haiti!

I know my blog posts are usually light and fun, but this is different. If you haven't heard yet, Haiti suffered from a horrendous earthquake--they guestimate that up to 50,000 people have died, with millions more injured. And those who have survived are having a very difficult time finding food and water. They will die without aid.

But we can help bring much-needed funding to workers and the Haiti people, and it's super easy. To help, you can text the word "yele" to 501501 to send $5 (visit http://www.yele.org for more deets, and to donate via credit card).

You can also go to http://www.foodforthepoor.org and donate via credit card (in the comments field, write "haiti earthquake" so the $$ will go to them).

Also, you can donate to Red Cross: $10 donations can be sent to the Red Cross International Relief Fund by typing HAITI and sending it to 90999.

Please check out this heartening article, talking about how much money they've raised in the last two days JUST through text messages! http://www.sphere.com/nation/art...icle/text-messages-raising-big-money-for-aid-to-haiti/19316793

I feel blessed that my family and friends are safe and sound. And I'm so, so heartbroken for those poor people in Haiti. Luckily, we can reach out to them in a way that will be useful and life-saving. This is a simple, but impactful way we can help them get food and water, and hopefully they can find a way to pick up the pieces after such a wretched disaster.

Ask your writing questions here!

What questions do you have about writing and/or being an author? Anything you're dying to know or want help with? I love helping writers out on their journey, especially since I got so much help myself on my road to publication.

So, if you guys have any questions or want to know anything, let me know in the comments! I'll blog about it.

On a side note, my book launch is tomorrow night! Thursday, Jan 14, 6:30 pm at the Parma-South library in Parma, Ohio. If you can make it, please swing by. It should be fun, yo. :D

My Wild Booksigning Adventures in Canada

Oh, Canada. A country full of fun, and magic, and 85,000 wineries.

This past weekend, I went to do my very first booksigning at Indigo bookstore in Toronto, and I was in fabulous company: fellow 2009 Debut authors Lara Zielin (author of Donut Days), Megan Crewe (author of Give Up the Ghost), and Neesha Meminger (author of Shine, Coconut Moon) were also there. Sarah Ockler (author of Twenty Boy Summer) was also supposed to come, but unfortunately the weather prevented her from making it.

First off, here's a list of things I learned during my trip to Canada:

--Wineries are evidently super popular. Even Wayne Gretsky's estate has one. And they advertise wine tours about a billion times right on the QEW (the big highway that will take you up to Toronto).

--There is a place called Ball's Falls. Also, I can't say Ball's Falls without giggling like a 10-year-old boy.

--Smarties candy in America and Smarties candy in Canada are completely different things. Smarties in America are those small, chalky candy discs. In Canada, however, they are chocolate candies, kind of like M&Ms.

--Canadians are very open-minded about new and different snack foods. For example, they have ketchup-flavored chips (yum, I've had these before and haven't found them anywhere else). They also have pickle-flavored chips. I find this fascinating and plan on trying the pickle-flavored ones when I go back.

--I need to go back to 4th grade. It was a real challenge translating kilometers to miles. And you can forget about translating liters to gallons. I went to fill up my car, which was 100.7 cents (well, I think it was cents) per liter. For the life of me, I couldn't remember how many liters were in a gallon. Plus, it was like minus 300 degrees outside, and my brain was frozen. I finally just filled it up and hoped for the best.

--In Canada, no one goes the speed limit. At first, I had the hardest time getting past the mental block of going 100, even though it was Km and not miles. But when I finally did, people were still zooming right by me. Apparently, Canadians go up to 9 Km over the speed limit--the theory is to just stay with the traffic speed, and you'll be okay. Good to know.

--Canadian drivers are super nice. No one honked their horn at me, even though I drove like a moron and got lost a couple of times. One guy did sadly shake his head at me, though.

--Spelling is rad in Canada. I love how they write favourite, or centre. I want to start writing like that from now on.

--Canadians really do say "oot" and "aboot," instead of "out" and "about." And it's soooooo cute.

The book signing itself was so much freaking fun. And let me just say that Chapters/Indigo is an incredible store!! We went to the one in Eaton Centre in Toronto for our signing. They treated us like royalty--ordered a lot of copies for stock, made sure we were happy, and checked on us frequently. They also learned about all our books so they can hand-sell them.

Here's a pic of our books on display--check out those faboo covers! Also note, the yoga mats and accessories were on sale for 20% off behind us.

The signing ran from 2-5 pm and was SO much fun. Megan was a total expert at the signing thing--she had us do rotations of standing by the door and handing out bookmarks to draw people over to our table. None of us sat down; we stayed busy talking and walking around the front of the store.

I sold several books, and there were even people who brought in their own copies for me to sign! How cool is that?? Thank you all SO much for visiting me--I greatly enjoyed it!

Megan is so cool in person. She's kind of quiet, but very intense and smart. And she gave me lots of great tips about how to work a booksigning.

Neesha is adorable. She's so fun and witty. And everyone and their mom came out to visit her--it was so cute.

Lara is my twin, no kidding. She and I are eerily alike, and we bonded instantly. I don't think Canada was quite ready for the power duo of the two of us, LOL.

Here's a pic of all four of us--from left to right, Lara Zielin, Neesha Meminger, me, and Megan Crewe.

While we were working the table, I tried at first to pretend I was an American ambassador, but I did a pretty bad job representing our country, and no one was impressed. Then, Lara and I decided to pretend we were American royalty--I was the Queen of Cleveland, and she was the Empress of Michigania. I don't think anyone bought it, though.

I had a lot of fun exploring different ways of drawing people over. I announced quite loudly that Edward Cullen had totally read our books and gave them to Bella as an early Valentine's day present. At times, I sang and promised to stop singing if people bought a copy of Stupid Cupid. I also told guys that the only gift their girlfriend wanted for Valentine's day was Stupid Cupid. I'm still honing my technique, I guess.

We had two publicity personnel and the director of sales from Simon and Schuster there as well--I loved them! They took pictures and were so much fun to talk to. :D

After we were done, we all signed stock. I HAD to take a photo of this, with the "signed by author" stickers on our books. Plus, look how many copies of Stupid Cupid they ordered!! That was the coolest thing ever. I wanted to throw them on the floor and roll around in them, but I don't think anyone would have approved that. The guy on the right is Andrew, and he's super fun and a great bookseller. :D

Anyway, after the signing, Neesha had to take off, so Megan, Lara and I went to this fabulous Indian restaurant and chowed down. The bread they gave me was the biggest piece of bread I've ever seen in my life. It had to be twice the size of my head. Seriously, I can't tell you enough how ginormous it was.

Then, Lara and I headed back to our hotel, checked in, and promptly headed out to find a bar for some chillaxing and yapping time. The first place we saw had like 85 doors, no kidding. And there was a sign on every door that said no entrance--find the main entrance door. After circling the block, we decided it was either one of those "how to you keep an idiot busy for hours?" kind of thing, or a trick against Americans. So we went to an Irish bar that had one door and shared some wine.

The next morning, Lara and I went to the Over Easy (which she thought at first said Oyster Easy, LOL) restaurant for brekkies. And after that, I met a friend and went to a Jewish cafe for lunch. I had matza, latkas, and meatloaf, and it was sooooo good.

The drive home was pretty uneventful. Well, until I got about 45 mins from home, and my driver's side tire totally blew out. Suckage! Luckily, my dad was close, so I called him to come help me. While I was waiting, a police offer saw me and offered to change my tire. Thank you, Officer Awesome! I never got your name, but you were totally cool. He was joking around with me that the tire blowout was just Ohio's way of welcoming me back. haha

All in all, a fantastic trip. The bookstore asked us to come back again in September, so I'll be back, yo. Canada, I can't wait to visit you again--thanks for the memories!! :D

Tell me your funniest childhood memories

I was talking with a couple of coworkers this morning about childhood memories and giggled so hard at a few that were jogged in my head. So of course, I had to share. Here you go, folks--a window into Rhonda's brain. But beware, for it is a frightening place:

--In kindergarten, I couldn't remember my teacher's name, so I just called her Miss Kindergarten. One time, I missed the bus, and Miss Kindergarten gave me a ride home.

--I remember in 3rd grade playing Dukes of Hazzard with some other kids in the apartment complex. I was always Daisy Duke, of course. We made my younger sister be that really big lady (I don't remember her name). She hated it, but did it because she didn't want to be left out.

--When I was in 7th grade, my two best friends and I had a secret club. It was called Pink Secrets. I don't remember anything we did in our club, but we did have a meeting room up in the attic, where it was insanely hot. At least there was a couch in there, though.

--In 2nd grade, I had a huuuuuge crush on this boy named Jason. But this girl named Grace liked him too. I really, really disliked her. haha

--In 4th grade, I was playing tag with a group of friends. This one guy named Carey always liked to pretend he was a vampire. He was chasing me around in tag and reached out to touch me...and grabbed my chest (non-existent, of course), instead. I hauled off and slapped him and ran off crying to my friend. She told her older brother, who just a couple of days later looked out his apartment window and shot Carey in the butt with a bb gun. Looking back, I think it was less about defending me and more about getting a chance to use his bb gun on a real person.

--My first-ever date was in 5th grade with my first boyfriend. We went to see the movie Little Shop of Horrors with his mom. He was also the one who gave me a brown lunch bag of jewelry on Valentine's day...only to have to take the bag back the next day. Turned out, it was his sister's jewelry.

--I didn't have my first kiss until I was 15. We were in a roller rink, and he was playing an arcade game. And I totally kissed him! When my mom picked me up after our evening, she asked if we kissed. I said yes, and she blanched and said, "Well, there'd better have been no tongue." Thanks, mom!

--In 4th grade, this one girl told me she could pee standing up. I'm still baffled by this one.

--My sis and I used to play Nancy Drew. We'd scour the ground outside, looking for a mystery. E.g., the mystery of the dirty pop can. Or the mystery of the single shoe. Yes, we were always this smart.

--When I was first learning about addition, I remember looking in my math book and seeing signs that were only horizontal. I totally thought they'd just forgotten to put the vertical lines, so I went through the entire book and drew them in...only to find out that they were minus signs, and it wasn't a publishing error. I had to go back and erase them all.

--When I was in 4th grade, this boy really liked me. He tried to give me a ring, but I didn't feel comfortable with it, so I told him thanks, but it didn't feel right to take it. Right before our Christmas play, his mom marched him up to me and ordered me to take the ring, because he'd spent his money on it. Guilt trip city!

I could go on and on, but I'd love to hear about YOUR most amusing childhood memories. Anything funny come to mind? Tell, tell, tell!

Breaking out of my safety zone

So, it's Jan 6, and I don't have any super-formal goals set up yet. This is really unusual for me, because I'm a super goal-oriented person. There's nothing more satisfying than crossing items off a list. Wow, reading that last sentence sounds even way nerdier than I meant. Anyway, it's time to make my writing goals for 2010:

1--break out of my safety zone. Basically, dare to write different. Try something fun, exciting, new for me to help breathe new life into my writing and force me to grow. Mix it up a little! I pledge to write at least 1 proposal this year for a non rom-com genre.

2--but also, keep building my current platform. In addition to trying new stuff, I should work more on refining my rom com writing and making it stronger. I pledge to write at least 1 rom-com proposal this year, as well.

3--keep writing. I need to make steadier, more consistent time for writing. When drafting, I will write at least 3 pages a day, 5 days a week.

4--network. Gotta get out there and meet new people! Who knows where it could lead for me?

5--pimp. Myself, that is, and my books. I will not be afraid to hand out bookmarks to strangers. Okay, I might be afraid, but I'm gonna do it anyway. I will have 3 books out by mid-May, and I need to make sure people know about them!

6--relax. Wow, this one is so important. I get really uptight about stuff and need to learn how to let go and relax a little. Life's not just about being productive, but also enjoying the downtimes too.

I believe 2010 is going to be a good, productive year for me. And super busy! If I stick to my goals, I think I can make it through just fine. And I hope you guys have a wonderful year. :D