Why 70s movie BLACK BELT JONES is awesome

The manpanion and I bought a 4-pack of 70's urban action movies for 10 bucks. Last night, we watched one of them, called Black Belt Jones. Okay, if you haven't seen this movie, PLEASE watch the trailer on youtube HERE, and then come back to read the rest of my post. Seriously. You will die--it is made of so much awesome, it hurts. Best $2.50 we ever spent, hands down.

And here's why.

1--The budget. The manpanion and I think it's a fair guestimate to say that over half the movie's funding was spent on glass windows. Seriously, pretty much every scene has a window or two or twelve broken by heads and body parts being smashed through them. And the other half of the budget is spent on this massive car-wash suds scene at the end. I've never seen anything like it.

2--The language. Do you dig, baby? Because the dialogue, man, is hip! The mafia don says "Mamma mia!" when he gets mad, true to Italian stereotype. The n-word is thrown around like a frisbee throughout the whole movie. The whole thing feels soooooo 70's.

3--The love scene. The hero (Black Belt Jones--obviously dubbed because of his mad martial arts skills) and heroine (a super-rad fighter herself) do some weird flirty thing where he comes on to her, but she says any man who wants her has to take it. Okayyyy. Then, they start fighting. I mean, she's kicking the living pee out of him and flinging him all around the beach. They get all riled up during their interaction and end up making sweet sweet love under a tent on the beach (well, after they scared two naked hippie teens out of there).

4--The outfits. This one guy in the movie is wearing what has to be the pointiest, biggest collar I've ever seen. The clothes, they are extra tight, extra pastel and checkered and paisleyed. And the pants are extra revealing...if ya know what I mean.

5--The fight scenes. The soap suds scene at the end is hilarious and super creative. The chick keeps dumping people into the back of the garbage truck--all while she's wearing a shirt with no underpants on. And there are soooo many crotches grabbed throughout the film, you become almost numb to them. The sound effects with each punch and kick and smack are funny and reinforce that super-cheese 70's-movie element that I just love.

6--The random elements. Seriously, I've never seen so many random things thrown into a movie before. Here's a taste: trampolines, polariod cameras, fire extinguishers, garbage trucks, a car wash, a jump rope, barefooted martial arts students, guns, wine, scandalous pictures (which we never see or learn what they contain), dirty money, police cars, soap suds, and red underpants.

Overall, this movie gets a huge 2-thumbs up from me. I can't wait to watch the other 3 movies!!